Epilogue.

 the patisserie. (by the lovely kimi kolba)


This summer I turned 30.

It's  a good number.

It feels right to me. Comfortable. An important sounding number that hints at the year, or even the decade, that came before. 

I have wanted very much to tell you about this year. But I got bogged down in the details. Over and over and over again, I came here, and left without hitting the publish button. The details refused to cooporate.  It was a year unlike any other. Here I am anyway. Details be damned.

This year I fell in love with genre fiction again.

This year I wore pennyloafers.

This year I adopted Fergus, who is part cat, part dog, and part cloud.

This year I reserved the hours between 1 and 3 am for watching nearly every Andrew Davies BBC miniseries on netflix.

This year I decided to stop fretting about my less-than-perfect legs, and took 3 inches of the matronly hemlines on all my summer skirts. It felt awesome.

This year I stopped blogging.

Because this year, I opened a restaurant.

No really. 

You read that right.

My husband and I opened a restaurant. 

And nothing in the world can prepare you for what it feels like, when you have, in a seriously weird way, given birth to something like a restaurant. At the swell of pride and awe at suddenly standing in the middle of a thing, that after 15 years in the restaurant business, seemed impossible. Also, the exhaustion. When the blood, sweat (though there is still sweat), and occasional weeping of the opening months were over and done, I saw my husband standing in the kitchen of his own restaurant, and I only felt astonishment. Gratitude.

Then this happened.

Then this. 

And so on.

It's almost September now, and I have gotten better at trying to stand still while this tornado of a life wheels and crashes it's way into every little thing. I am remembering what it was like to sleep, and to see Aaron's face in the daytime. To go to the movies. To pick up more shifts at the bookstore (from which I had to take an extended hiatus). It still looks like mayhem to most people, but to us, it's just life. This year, more than any other, I am grateful to friends and family who helped us keep it together. Who took care of our animals, who listened to our worries, who understood when we could not make it to parties and dinners and gatherings, and invited us anyway. I could ply them with baked goods for the rest of their lives and it still wouldn't be sufficient. 

I know it's weird, to return to this space only to announce its retirement. But looking back, I realize that this space contains a story, told in real time. A story that still needed an ending. We set out for the Pacific Northwest from Southern California just 4 years ago with nothing but a few possessions, an unwise amount of optimism, and friends to help us along the way. And here we are. I can hardly believe it.

I've decided to continue blogging over at Book-Scout. (I will be leaving Scout up indefinitely for links and such.) For all my involvement in the early days of the restaurant, bookselling is still my true love. I hope, after all this time, you'll join me over there. But if you ever find yourself in our neck of the woods, tired and looking for a good meal, I hope you'll come and say hello. We can share a madeleine or two. 

All love,
*Andrea 

 

 

Comments

[shari]

and what a beautiful story it is. so happy for you and A. xox

[jess]

andrea, what funny timing -- I was just updating the links on my own blog last week and thought, I wonder if she's still around? I went back through here and reread for awhile, wondering where you are.

I pass by your restaurant, unknowingly, every day as I bike commute to work! cannot wait to stop by. sad to see you leaving this blog behind, but best of luck with the new chapter, and I hope to come eat something yummy very soon :)

[andrea]

oh friend. I remember the first time I discovered you and this fine blog of yours. you presence here will be sorely missed but such good things happening to you! such good and lovely things! and so well deserved! will happily continue to follow you over at book-scout. and I look forward to dinner at st. jack. soon soon soon.

xo

[emily]

you give me goosebumps. i'm happy to know you now in other places on the internets so that this isn't good bye. xo.

[Ramona]

wow.
seriously good.
will check you out when we head to portland this summer 2012

[Erica Midkiff]

How thrilling to have started a restaurant! Wow.

I'm delighted to hear that you will be back at Book-Scout. I had followed you there from the beginning, and loved reading your posts. I share your love of books intended for younger audiences, and read many of your recommendations. I look forward to seeing you there!

[sulu-design]

I like this finale - your wrapped it up and tied up with a bow. I'll see you over at Book-Scout, and probably on Alberta, and definitely at the restaurant.

[Kathleen Noble]

The best ending/beginning!

[Chelsea U]

I'm a little late, but so good to see that you are back blogging again, even if it's not here. I have missed you both online and in Portland. And I completely agree with you, 30 is a great age.

I'm excited to start keeping up with your kid lit recommendations again. Lord knows I could use more kid lit in my life!

[Annika]

I missed your blog and only by accident found this post now.
So much has happened in the past year!
I'd come over for a madeleine any day if I could.